Full Circle

A rough week for Lilybug equals a rough week for Mama. I am exhausted. This weekend Lily gave me a good dose of old fashion birth control. Yes if you asked me at any point this weekend when out next kid was coming the quick response would be "NEVER!"

I am not sure what is going on in our house. Maybe it is the age or a 'stage' and God knows I hate to be the Mom that uses that as an excuse. Maybe it is teething. Maybe I am just tired. I don't know but we are all out of whack.

I am not feeling like a good mom this week. To be honest I am a little down about it. I feel like my good kid is slowly melting away into the sunset and I am at my wits end with how to deal with it. I am not used to it. And ultimately if she is not a good kid it is my fault right?

I swear the whole weekend I was on the edge. The very edge.

Let's see. There was the tailgate where I spent fifty percent of my time in the car trying to get her to go to sleep because she was being a pill. There was the half of the game that I missed because she was pitching a fit in the stands. There was the hissyfit she threw at the restaurant later that night and I felt like 'that parent'. There was the ten million tantrums she threw for no apparent reason at Meg and Craig's while I tried my hardest to stick to the strategy of "ignore it" with a sheepish yet embarrassed grin on my face. Then there was the embarrassing twenty minute fit at GAP that forced me to leave and take her to the car for another twenty minutes of extreme screaming, kicking, and thrashing in the back seat of the car. UUUGGGHHHHH! Tantrum after tantrum, kick after kick, slap after slap.

I am over this week and this weekend. God let us pray next week is better. I want my angel back STAT!