Sleepy Momma's thoughts....

>> Sunday, June 22, 2008

So we have had a house full for a solid two weeks and Monday I lose my MIL that has been an awesome help to me over the past two weeks. How will I survive? I may have to start doing my own house work!! Oh No! We had a few people over in addition to the large amount of family on Saturday for a wing fry. Then on Sunday Brent, Chris, and Crackhead stopped by. It was a good weekend but long. I am looking forward to some quiet and maybe a little napping during Lily's long "naps" during the day aka sleeping all day and screaming all night :)

This week has been rough in the sleep department. I am getting up two to three times a night between 11pm and 6am. If I try to breastfeed I am up at least an hour to an hour and half each time. If I pump the average is 45 minutes including feeding, pumping, changing and getting her back down. So that is not terrible. But my pediatrician said feeding her and not pumping would be easier and less time consuming! WRONG! We just need to get used to each other I guess. It has been a little disheartening though. This week it will just be me and little Lily so maybe we can get used to each other and start some sort of routine. I shy away from the word schedule because that would be ludicrous with a two week old right?

I did go to a lactation consultant this week. So breastfeeding has improved. She is actually latching on now. But the pediatrician said she is still not gaining fast enough so I have to take her back for a weight check this week. I feel like the only time I leave the house is to go to the doctors!

My MIL did watch her on Thursday night and Michael took me to Chilis for a momentous postpartum Presidente Margarita. It was fabulous and just as wonderful as I remembered it. And what was even better is that I did not once call and check on her while I was gone. I know I am awesome! Or maybe just burnt out! haha! Two to three hours of sleep a night will do that to you...but she is adorable in the middle of the night when it's just us two chillin'. And she makes the funny faces in the middle of the night as if to entertain her cranky mommy. This is a good one above...I call it her thinking pose.


Last Prego picture at 39 weeks

>> Wednesday, June 18, 2008

No wonder she was 9lbs 7oz! I have my own zip code!


1 Week Old

>> Tuesday, June 17, 2008

One Week Old

Today Lily is 1 week old! She had a busy first week. Other than the whole being born thing she had lots of visitors, had her first bath, had more visitors, ate alot, pooped alot, got a little fatter, went to the pediatrician twice, and did I mention more visitors? Thanks to everyone that came to the hospital and that has stopped by the house so far. We love you guys! Here are a few snapshots of our friends that have stopped by to visit the little munchkin.

Meg and Craig

Brooke and Scott


John and Tara




Happy Father's Day!

>> Monday, June 16, 2008

Michael and Lily on Father's Day

Michael's first Father's Day. Lily got him a tool belt! Actually Michael's mother had to run out and get a tool belt since I am not able to drive yet. But Lily approved prior to presentation to Daddy!

She also got her very first bath. She was so calm and only cried when you did not keep her "personal area" covered. That is what every parent of a daughter likes to see! It is funny she loves being naked but hates to be without a diaper. Here we are...our first family portrait after her bath. I love how she is looking up at us in awe.

The expanded Eads Family


Daddy's Little Girl


Lily MaeLynn Eads' Arrival

>> Thursday, June 12, 2008

Born: June 10, 2008
Time: 6:36 PM
Weight: 9lbs 7oz
Legnth: 21 inches

Well she is here and we are so excited! The day of her arrival was a long one that did not go as planned but ended in a miracle nonetheless.

As my earlier post said, my water broke at about 2:50 am on the morning of the 10th. It woke me up with just a bit of fluid. I laid there a minute hopeful this was it but not optimistic. Losing a little bladder control had been common the past few weeks. But I went to the bathroom and as I was peeing a gush came out. Still doubting that was it (uh how many signs did I need?) I sat there a second doubting myself. I went and woke up Michael and asked his assessment and we both agreed this was it. So I called the doctor. My doctor was actually on call. So I was excited. She told me to take my time but head to the hospital. I was not really contracting so I was not in a hurry.

We arrived at the hospital at about 5 AM with many soaked towels later. Um ladies your water can gush MULTIPLE times. No one tells you this. I did not think that much fluid could come out! Well ALOT continuously kept coming out. We walk into Rex...Michael sees the security guard guy that lets you in and says "It's GO Time!" Always the jokester! They check me in and a nurse takes me to triage to check my vitals, progress etc. She was really nice but about to go off her shift. She told me that upon inspection I had one more bag of water that needed to break (there are multiple bags?? News to me) and once this happened it was going to start getting ugly. But the good news was I was a loose 4 cm and 90% effaced so I was progressing. Well the bag of water broke once I got into my room. Which was nice by the way. So the new nurse Jenna was focusing on me! She was amazing. A big corner room and there was no one else on my hall. Once in the room I got a hep lock and monitored a little more. She asked about pain management and I said we were not against it but I wanted to get into pretty active labor before receiving an epidural so I did not slow down the labor. I made it clear that we were projected to have a large baby but I really did not want a c-section and was confident we could get through this if we kept labor progressing. Not getting the epidural until active labor was part of this plan. My doctor came in and talked to me and honestly did not seem to hopeful that I was going to be able to get this baby out on my own but said we would try. She was then off and Dr Barret (a fellow Chi Omega!) was coming on shift.

So we started our walking. Mostly around the room. Michael helped me through the contractions and when she checked me again I was 5 1/2 cm. Not too shabby! I was progressing. She asked again about the pain (which was getting worse by the way...and very quickly). I said I was about at a seven out of ten. They are big on the pain scale. Rate your pain. Rate your pain. Blah Blah. It freaking hurts. She suggested I start fluids as a full bag is needed prior to administering the epidural. I was iffy but decided to go ahead. I really just didn't want to be stuck in bed. As she starts the fluids my contractions started coming. And when I say coming they were FAST! Before I was getting a two to three minute break in between the end of one and start of another. But now I was getting about 30secs to a minute at most. My contractions were lasting longer and closer together. She asked about pain again I said seven again, but then I contracted again and screamed "10!!!! " By the way ten means the worst pain you have ever felt in your entire life. She stepped into gear, cranked up the fluids, and said she was calling the anesthesiologist. I have to say I waited to long to ask for it. I admit it. Because the next thirty minutes were the worst pain I could ever imagine. I started puking, then I started passing out. They broke out the smelling salts! And yes they stink. Michael claims he saw satan in my eyes. I don't remember screaming but he says I was. I believe him. It felt like someone was stabbing and ice pick into my back, abs, and vagina all at the same time. It was awful. The doctor finally showed up and it took every ounce of strength I had left to stay still enough for him to give me the drugs. And the relief was almost immediate. I only felt about two more hard contractions. The anesthesiologist was kind of a douche though. I know they have to ask you all these questions before you get it but seriously? Couldn't he tell I was dying! I felt like satan himself was about to rip the child out of my lions and he is blabbering about paralysis as a risk? At this point that would be a welcome change! JUST GIVE IT TO ME! But after he did I asked him to marry me! He politely or rudely refused but whatever! I felt a million times better. And the good news was I was at the 6 cm mark. My goal was 5-6 cm prior to pain relief so I succeeded.

Even after the epidural I was still uncomfortable on my left side. Jenna started giving me extra shots into my epidural (the hard core stuff) once an hour to help with that. The doctor came in, I was fully dilated, well almost 9 1/2 but the baby was at zero station. She wasn't dropping. She started talking c-section again and I said no I wanted to try a little longer. By this time it was early afternoon. I had plenty of time! She gave me an hour to get her down with progress, and then she was taking me in.

At this point I put on my game face. There is no way I am dilating all day to full dilation and then she is just going to float around up there. I felt like I had worked to hard! Jenna helped me into some positions to help move her down. We tried everything. At this point the pain on my left side was getting worse and booster injections were not working. Jenna readjusted my epidural and it did not help. The pain started intensifying again (but only on one side). It was about 3 pm at this point. She said we could redo the epidural but since the baby had not dropped and my hour was almost up I was slowly coming to realize my worst fear of a section was occurring. The doctor was suppose to be in at 3:30 so I said I would wait to see what she said. Since the epidural was not being effective they would probably want to give me a spinal block if I needed the section. I didn't want to get the second epidural to turn around and pull it out to get a spinal. So I sucked it up and put my big girl panties on figuring thirty minutes shouldn't be that bad right? Well the doctors thirty minutes turned into 3 hours. She got stuck in surgery. So I labored, breathed through the contractions, tried to sleep when she have me booster shots that last five minutes, and moved into positions to get her to drop.

The doctor walked in at six, stuck a finger up there, and said call the OR we are going to section her. I immediately started crying. I was so upset after working so hard, suffering so long, and then this. I knew it was the right thing to do but I was more or less just scared. The thought of being cut open was petrifying to me. I started shaking as they prepped me, and told us what to expect. I was in full panic mode. I do fell that I should mention that Michael was awesome. He just tried to keep me calm. But the part where I lost it was when we had to separate for me to be prepped and him to scrub up.

They wheeled me into the OR. Very scary. Think Alien abduction scene, bright lights, cold, scary, not the place I wanted my baby born. Luckily Jenna was still with me. I was still contracting hard on my left side but I had to get the spinal. Which is not easy when half of your body is dead and half is throbbing in pain. Sitting up straight is not easy. As soon as the spinal block went it I was completely numb. It was creepy. Unfortunately the panic was not gone. I was uncontrollably shaking and crying hysterically, I was scared. That is the only way to explain it. Complete and utter fear. They get you on the table and tie your hands down. I was warned by a friend about this but it still freaked me out. Then they put up a huge blue sheet so I cannot see anything. By this time I am pretty much having a panic attack. I told them I was going to puke. But just in the nick of time Jenna brings Michael in. He looked so handsome in his green scrubs. But one look at me and he knew I wasn't doing good. As soon as he sat down I started throwing up. Throwing up while being numb is not fun. I did not know it was possible. Luckily you can't eat during labor so it was just stomach acid. At this point the sheet starts moving and my body is moving but I feel nothing. I mean nothing.

Then I heard a cry. A Beautiful cry. I asked if she was okay and they said she had a head full of hair. They brought her around and I saw her and all my fear went away. She was beautiful. They whisked Michael away with her. So alone again. But calmer. Still shaking really bad but a little calmer. She was okay. Now to put me back together. The doctor and nurses chatted a bit with me through this time. They brought Lily back in for a quick peck on the cheek before taking her to recovery to wait for me. They told me she weighed 9 pounds 7 ounces. Wow! That is big was all I could think. The doctor said how glad I should be that I didn't push her out because she would have tore me up. I think she was right.

I went to recovery where Michael, Lily, and Gail (Michael's Mom) where and saw Lily in passing as they started my recovery prep. This is something I was sad about. I did not get to hold her for a little over an hour after she was born. I was getting irritated at this point. But when I did see her it was very emotional. A moment a mother never forgets. My heart felt like I could never love anything more. My little Lily. My little miracle.

Although the birth did not go as planned, it was worth every minute of pain. I cannot say I want to do it again anytime soon, but I can say I couldn't have asked for a happier ending. It was hard, it hurt, it was really scary, but its over now. The hard road of pregnancy ends and the rollercoaster of parenthood begins.....


Here she comes...

>> Tuesday, June 10, 2008

June 10th, 2:50 AM


We are taking our time and headed to the hospital. Not too much pain yet.


Less than a week to go!

>> Monday, June 09, 2008

I had a doctors appointment today. Progress, Progress! I am now 3-4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. The doctor said he thought I was in early labor now. I had some contractions last night that kept me up from 2-5....I know it has become a ritual. I also threw up this morning. So a little nausea is another sign.

I did have bleeding after this dilation check which I did not have last time. It hurt like hell and I am pretty sure I crushed the nurses hand. Ugh. I think I need to add to my birth plan limited pelvic checks. Of course if that hurt what does it feel like when the baby comes?

My mother in law is now here staying with me until I deliver. She brought our 3yr cousin, so I have been entertained by her most of the day. At least I won't be lonely this last week!


To cut or not to cut?

>> Thursday, June 05, 2008

We had a family meeting last night and decided against the planned c-section. It was a hard decision but we wanted to stick to our original plan of avoiding surgery. Women do this all the time right? I was surprised Michael was so gun-hoe about doing it natural when his "happy place" was involved but he thinks it would be better in the long run of recovery time, and I am concerned about initial bonding time. I think he just wants to be done doing housework :)

The doctors said they would be on their toes and not let me labor for an extremely long time if she was not coming. So I have to trust them. Plus knowing when the baby is coming is too nerve racking for me.

I did go into false labor again last night. I was up until about 5 even with the pain medications they gave me two weeks ago. We were both convinced and even had our bags packed and finished cleaning the house most of the night. Then they finally started dying out early this morning. Oh Frustration! I wish there was a neon sign that said this is she is coming. Instead I have this guessing game of extremely strong contractions and no baby. But it should be dilating me at least. But poor Michael had to go to work today with about two hours of sleep.


Baby Update

>> Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Well we had our doctors appointment today and Lily is a big 'un. We had an ultrasound and our weekly check up. The ultrasound revealed an 8 pound 7 ounce baby! The doc said it could be off by a pound but she would say she probably is not less than 8 lbs 7 oz. Can anyone say 9 lbs 7 oz!!! EEEK! With this news she has offered me an elective c-section. I am really torn about this. Speaking of torn she did warn me of the increased risk of tearing with a large baby. Everytime I hear the word "tear" I cringe. She said they could also induce. I really don't want that and don't really see a benefit since how much bigger can she get in a couple days right?

So Michael and I are going to discuss tonight. But if we decide on the c-section we need to let the doctor know soon.

We did get to see the baby in the ultrasound. It doesn't look as much like a baby once they get this big though because they cannot get her in one shot. Just bits at a time. We did get a good shot of her face though. She has chubby little cheeks and a little bit of hair. Not a lot but at least something is there.


Happy 3 Yr Anniversary!

>> Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Michael and I on our wedding day!

Today is Michael and I's three year wedding anniversary. The only day we are praying Lily does not make an appearance. Oh it seems so long ago now. But it has been a great year and every year will only get better!


2 weeks to Go!

>> Monday, June 02, 2008

T -13 days until due date.
Mom Status: huge.
Baby Status: huger.

Well I had my now weekly check up on Thursday. On one note, I am out of work completely until after maternity leave is over (~labor day). On the other I am having a cow and not a baby! The exact terminology from the doctor..."extremely large baby" Now I didn't know how to take this, because extremely large is relative. I mean this doctor might be a total of 5'6" and 150lbs. Large to him and large to me are two different scenarios. So I asked for a number. Bad idea....He could give me no number. Only that I needed a sonogram and needed to start thinking about a planned c-section. EEK! My worst nightmare. The number one thing I wanted to avoid is a c-section. My personal opinion is that if I am not getting lypo or a tummy tuck there is no need to cut into me. The funniest part of this being when the doctor wrote me out of work he did not mention the baby was extremely large, just

Due: 6/15
Extremely Large
Short Term to start 5/30

Yes I am officially to large to work!! BRING IN THE CRANES! I had to hand this to HR! You think he could have been a little clearer that the BABY is extremely large. I did make a photocopy of this for Lily ammunition later in life. Like when she won't clean her room I can whip it out and rub it in her face that she made her mother 'extremely large.'

Other doctor news. He thinks the reason I have been having spells of false labor is because the baby is too big for me to carry. Or possibly she is in a bad position. He gave me some drugs to take a night. A little Tylenol with codine. I didn't want to take it but when I am only getting a few hours a night you eventually give in and take it. So I can now go about three hours uninterrupted. Plus I have been napping a little more.

Not many other updates. I have been worthless lately. I did go see the SATC movie, and our dishwasher broke...perfect timing eh?

So my next appointment is Wednesday. I will get the ultrasound and hopefully a pelvic to show any progress from two weeks ago. I will end with the new motto of our lives

Go towards the light, Lily!