The Mini Van that wanted to be Truck

>> Wednesday, June 02, 2010

I have had Jay-Z's song 'Big Pimpin' in my head all week. Why you ask? Because I have been cruising around in my new ride! And what else does a little short white girl do in a ginormous black SUV but Big Pimp?

Check out the new family ride.....2010 GMC Acadia




I think I shall name her Big Bertha. My first cars name was Bertha. I will honor my only other American made car by naming 'wanna be truck' after her. Don't tell her she is really a minivan without a sliding door. Let's hope Big Bertha treats me better than Bertha 1.0. Bertha 1.0  required a hammer to hit the gas tank for it to crank. Damn Ford Mustang.


But Big Bertha starts with the push of a button...from inside the house. Oh yeah I did! No more cold winter mornings. Because lord knows she won't fit in our whimpy one car garage. And no more cold bums on the leather seats because those bitches are heated! Oh does your back hurt? Let me just heat that and keep your toosh nice and cool while easing your back pain. So accommodating Big Bertha...I like it.

As if that wasn't enough she heats the mirrors just for fun.

Then there is the third row with the perfect view of the DVD player. And the second row captains that make car seat install a joke. Aaaahhhh a little slice of heaven. Because the eclipse and the car seat on forcefully go on dates. 

Oh you can't see behind you because you are driving a mini Hummer? Let me start up my back up camera and annoying beeping sound to keep you from running over your daughter's favorite bike. Yeah it is annoying but effective. Kind of like my way of getting what I want out of hubby!

But Stephaine how will you find your way around? You have no sense of direction. Big Bertha has got you covered and smothered with not just a nav but a 3D Map that highlights your building as it approaches.  Boo-Ya! 

But my very favorite, most bestest feature of all? The Bluetooth to talk hands free through the speakers of the stereo. No more missing a phone call because it was in my purse. It just stops the radio and starts ringing. Of course when your brother-in-law gets his hands on it and programs his number as "Kevin is so Wet" it makes it a bit more difficult to get it to call him. I have yet to figure out how to change it.  Thanks Kevin. Now Lily goes to daycare talking about how wet you are.

But don't worry Miss Convertible...you are still my first love. IN THE SPRING! 

But on a more serious note this was our first new car...neither of us has owned one before. I will tell you I did throw up a little in my mouth when I saw the payment.  It was more than our first house payment. (swallow vomit now). But it is worth it. It is really safe, one of the safest. It got ranked high on all its safety ratings, just ask our insurance company that lowered our premium with the purchase of the new car. Apparently we will survive a crash in this thing!  It is just right for our family of three humans and three fur babies. We test drove every three row SUV on the market and this was the only one Michael and I agreed on. I will say I wanted the Buick Enclave so bad. Unfortunately it really did look like a minivan. Much like a lot of the current crossovers.  With this being Michael's primary vehicle (when he is here!) he would not agree to a non-manly exterior. So we compromised. And boy am I glad I did. I am loving it! 

But in case you were wondering? Car shopping sucks! The best part about  car shopping is the first 45 blissful days you get without the payment yet  the benefit of the sweet arse vehicle!  Big Bertha may be a minivan that wanted to be a truck but I think that perfectly describes my mothering personality. Big Bertha and I are going to get along just fine. 

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2 comments:

Trish June 3, 2010 at 10:12 AM  

NIIIIIICCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!

So lovin it girl!

Susan June 4, 2010 at 3:25 PM  

That was HILARIOUS!