To My Darling Daughter...on her birthday

>> Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dearest Lilybug,

It is hard to believe it has been a year since we were blessed with you. You bring so much joy to our lives and remind us of the simple things like looking at flowers or reading a book. Yet for some reason this birthday has been difficult for me and I can't help but wonder if everyone of your birthdays will be the same. Maybe it's because I know that you will never be that little baby that I can hold in my arms again. I know I cannot get that time back. You have grown from that little baby to a girl full of life and personality. But with everyday I know I have something new and exciting to share with you. Every morning that I pick you up out of the crib the smile you give me reminds me that I have a special gift in you.

I remember the moment we met. On June 10, 2008 at 6:20pm I remember hearing you cry and Daddy talking to you and immediately you were quiet. After an exhausting day the nurse finally put you in my arms. You were so small and precious. Right then everyone in the room, your Daddy and Grandma and all the nurses, just disappeared. My chest felt like it could explode right then and there. I never knew I could love someone so much, especially someone so little. You weren't crying anymore. You were just calm and quiet as if you knew who Daddy and I were already. It was an amazing feeling to know someone needed me as much as I needed them. I just sat there and stared at you. This became one of my favorite things to do for weeks to come. When you would wake up hungry at 2AM on the dot every night without fail I would just lay with you in our bed and stare. It was always our special time. Everyone was asleep and it was completely silent with no distractions. I want you to know how I enjoyed those times so much.

I see little pieces of me in you more and more. Like the stubborn little girl that won't let Mommy feed her anymore and turns her head yet picks up that same piece of food to eat. Or the independent girl who doesn't want Daddy to hold her because she can walk by herself. I hope you keep that. Remember that you don't need anyone to help you and you can do it on your own. But I hope you also learn to take the help on those rare occasions you need it and that Daddy and I will always be there to help guide you in the right direction. I have no doubt you will succeed because I already see how bright you are. Just like your Daddy. I like to think you got the best of the both of us. Sometimes when I am really lucky you stop walking...look up...and reach for my finger to help you walk. Those are the moments I love. They let me know that you don't need my finger but you want it.

This year I have seen so many firsts. Your first smile, first laugh, first tooth, first word, and your first steps. It has been so much in what seems like such a short time. But that just reminds me how precious each moment is with you. Each day you change so much and you change me so much. It may be hard to believe but at one point Mommy had less patience than she does now. You gave me what I have. You make me see what is important in life.

A year ago today I saw a little precious baby and today I see a big girl eating her cupcake, running around outside and opening her presents on her birthday. So today on your birthday know that I love you so very much. Although you are getting bigger and bigger every day you will always be my little baby girl.

Love Always,