That Opossum is SICK!

>> Friday, August 13, 2010

I am on this really annoying listserve for my neighborhood. It is some lame attempt to form a homeowners association in the middle of the country where seriously most of the hilbillies could give two flying flips about the stuff they send out.

Like getting volunteers to mow the front of the neighborhood. Uh why don't the people that bought the two houses with the front of the neighborhood on their land mow it. Seriously people. Why don't I, from the far back of the neighborhood push my lawnmower up to the very front of the neighborhood and mow your lawn. Yeah when that happens call the National Guard because that means aliens have attacked my house and possessed my family with non-lazy fat asses.

But that is another story. I got one this week with the subject: Sick Opossum!

When I opened it up it talked of seeing a sick opossum in the neighborhood and the lady tried to call animal control but they don't come out on patrol until 8:30AM. I forgot that crazed animals stick to an 8-5 schedule.

I was later telling Michael about the email in the car.

Me: I got an email from the Neighborhood crazies that there is a sick opossum in the neighborhood
Michael:perplexed look on his face: What did they mean sick? Did it have a cough?
Me:blank stare: Did you really just ask me if it had a cough? Seriously?
Michael: Well I'm just saying I don't understand. How did they know it was sick? Or were they all like 'That opossum is SICK!' :aka badass, and insert gangsta hand motion:
Me:bursting into laughter: 
Michael:seriously: What?

So apparently we have a bad ass opossum in our neighborhood. Or a coughing one. We really aren't sure. Maybe we should email the crazies back for clarification. The bad ass opossum could be a bad influence on the kids. The coughing opossum could try to steal some cough drops from some kid at the bus stop. Funny I just thought the animal was rabid. I guess great minds don't think alike!