If I die young...

>> Friday, May 06, 2011

I lost a friend this week. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. I have lost family but never a friend. It hit me a little harder than I expected. Maybe because she was someone young that was not done living her life from my view. I think that is the true definition of a tragedy. I thought about her parnets. And how no one should have to bury a child. No one. It just doesn't seem natural. I never would have thought about it from that angle until Lily. She had so much more to look forward to. A husband, a child, maybe a daughter like Lily. While I know that is not everything to some people I think that this has made me see that it is everything to me. 


Kim was a sorority sister of mine. We pledged together. Lived in the house together. Were both active in Chi Omega after graduation. We both advised chapters, and attended convention together last year. I remember when we met Letitia Niemeier Fulkerson (our national president). We were such nerds. So excited like we were meeting the most famous person ever! And I remember how shy I thought she was when we first met. Boy was I wrong! I still think her big sister brought her out of her shell and showed us the true Kim that was hiding. I still have pictures of us all young and carefree where I swear she looks the same as the last time I saw her! How she never seemed to age. We all drooled over her job after college at ESPN. I mean how cool does that sound? And how jealous I was seeing her facebook status Wednesday saying she had landed in Hawaii. Where her life ended not 24 hours later. While we didn't speak every day or even every month when we did see each other it was like no time had passed. She was always smiling, laughing, and was genuinely a great person. We lost a beautiful person for no apparent reason. Sometimes life and death is so hard to understand or defend. 


I think her sudden loss will have a positive impact in some aspects. At least in my life. I think we often take for granted our lives and how precious each day is. So I hopefully have a little bit of a better outlook. In her honor I was a little nicer at work today, helped someone instead of saying that's not my job, gave my daughter that extra snuggle and kiss, gave my husband an extra I love you before I went to bed, and called my mom just to say hi. You just never know if that will be the last words you say to someone. 


While nothing heals the loss of a young friend, I hope that I can honor her and maintain my "reality check" about how lucky I really am. How much I really have even though I complain about what I lack. How much love I am surrounded by because I am not alone. How many smiles, and hugs I get from a little girl that looks just like her Daddy even when I feel overwhelmed by the whole business of parenting. Because to me that is what is important. And I am determined to find the good in the loss of a dear sister. Thank you Kim for all you have given those lives you have touched. I know I am grateful. 


Love in Chi Omega,


Stephaine


I downloaded this Thursday. Before I found out. It seems fitting now...


"If I Die Young"
The Band Perry
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 

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3 comments:

Suz May 7, 2011 at 12:30 AM  

What a beautiful post & tribute. She's been on my mind so much too. I think I'm still in shock. Thanks for sending that email out to the group. Please let me know if/when you know more details.

Marian May 7, 2011 at 6:37 AM  

Very nicely said, Steph. I think everyone is shocked. Can you forward me that email? My lil wants to know where to send flowers.

pinkflipflops May 7, 2011 at 8:35 AM  

(((())) I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose friends our own age.