Born: June 10, 2008
Time: 6:36 PM
Weight: 9lbs 7oz
Legnth: 21 inches
Well she is here and we are so excited! The day of her arrival was a long one that did not go as planned but ended in a miracle nonetheless.
As my earlier post said, my water broke at about 2:50 am on the morning of the 10th. It woke me up with just a bit of fluid. I laid there a minute hopeful this was it but not optimistic. Losing a little bladder control had been common the past few weeks. But I went to the bathroom and as I was peeing a gush came out. Still doubting that was it (uh how many signs did I need?) I sat there a second doubting myself. I went and woke up Michael and asked his assessment and we both agreed this was it. So I called the doctor. My doctor was actually on call. So I was excited. She told me to take my time but head to the hospital. I was not really contracting so I was not in a hurry.
We arrived at the hospital at about 5 AM with many soaked towels later. Um ladies your water can gush MULTIPLE times. No one tells you this. I did not think that much fluid could come out! Well ALOT continuously kept coming out. We walk into Rex...Michael sees the security guard guy that lets you in and says "It's GO Time!" Always the jokester! They check me in and a nurse takes me to triage to check my vitals, progress etc. She was really nice but about to go off her shift. She told me that upon inspection I had one more bag of water that needed to break (there are multiple bags?? News to me) and once this happened it was going to start getting ugly. But the good news was I was a loose 4 cm and 90% effaced so I was progressing. Well the bag of water broke once I got into my room. Which was nice by the way. So the new nurse Jenna was focusing on me! She was amazing. A big corner room and there was no one else on my hall. Once in the room I got a hep lock and monitored a little more. She asked about pain management and I said we were not against it but I wanted to get into pretty active labor before receiving an epidural so I did not slow down the labor. I made it clear that we were projected to have a large baby but I really did not want a c-section and was confident we could get through this if we kept labor progressing. Not getting the epidural until active labor was part of this plan. My doctor came in and talked to me and honestly did not seem to hopeful that I was going to be able to get this baby out on my own but said we would try. She was then off and Dr Barret (a fellow Chi Omega!) was coming on shift.
So we started our walking. Mostly around the room. Michael helped me through the contractions and when she checked me again I was 5 1/2 cm. Not too shabby! I was progressing. She asked again about the pain (which was getting worse by the way...and very quickly). I said I was about at a seven out of ten. They are big on the pain scale. Rate your pain. Rate your pain. Blah Blah. It freaking hurts. She suggested I start fluids as a full bag is needed prior to administering the epidural. I was iffy but decided to go ahead. I really just didn't want to be stuck in bed. As she starts the fluids my contractions started coming. And when I say coming they were FAST! Before I was getting a two to three minute break in between the end of one and start of another. But now I was getting about 30secs to a minute at most. My contractions were lasting longer and closer together. She asked about pain again I said seven again, but then I contracted again and screamed "10!!!! " By the way ten means the worst pain you have ever felt in your entire life. She stepped into gear, cranked up the fluids, and said she was calling the anesthesiologist. I have to say I waited to long to ask for it. I admit it. Because the next thirty minutes were the worst pain I could ever imagine. I started puking, then I started passing out. They broke out the smelling salts! And yes they stink. Michael claims he saw satan in my eyes. I don't remember screaming but he says I was. I believe him. It felt like someone was stabbing and ice pick into my back, abs, and vagina all at the same time. It was awful. The doctor finally showed up and it took every ounce of strength I had left to stay still enough for him to give me the drugs. And the relief was almost immediate. I only felt about two more hard contractions. The anesthesiologist was kind of a douche though. I know they have to ask you all these questions before you get it but seriously? Couldn't he tell I was dying! I felt like satan himself was about to rip the child out of my lions and he is blabbering about paralysis as a risk? At this point that would be a welcome change! JUST GIVE IT TO ME! But after he did I asked him to marry me! He politely or rudely refused but whatever! I felt a million times better. And the good news was I was at the 6 cm mark. My goal was 5-6 cm prior to pain relief so I succeeded.
Even after the epidural I was still uncomfortable on my left side. Jenna started giving me extra shots into my epidural (the hard core stuff) once an hour to help with that. The doctor came in, I was fully dilated, well almost 9 1/2 but the baby was at zero station. She wasn't dropping. She started talking c-section again and I said no I wanted to try a little longer. By this time it was early afternoon. I had plenty of time! She gave me an hour to get her down with progress, and then she was taking me in.
At this point I put on my game face. There is no way I am dilating all day to full dilation and then she is just going to float around up there. I felt like I had worked to hard! Jenna helped me into some positions to help move her down. We tried everything. At this point the pain on my left side was getting worse and booster injections were not working. Jenna readjusted my epidural and it did not help. The pain started intensifying again (but only on one side). It was about 3 pm at this point. She said we could redo the epidural but since the baby had not dropped and my hour was almost up I was slowly coming to realize my worst fear of a section was occurring. The doctor was suppose to be in at 3:30 so I said I would wait to see what she said. Since the epidural was not being effective they would probably want to give me a spinal block if I needed the section. I didn't want to get the second epidural to turn around and pull it out to get a spinal. So I sucked it up and put my big girl panties on figuring thirty minutes shouldn't be that bad right? Well the doctors thirty minutes turned into 3 hours. She got stuck in surgery. So I labored, breathed through the contractions, tried to sleep when she have me booster shots that last five minutes, and moved into positions to get her to drop.
The doctor walked in at six, stuck a finger up there, and said call the OR we are going to section her. I immediately started crying. I was so upset after working so hard, suffering so long, and then this. I knew it was the right thing to do but I was more or less just scared. The thought of being cut open was petrifying to me. I started shaking as they prepped me, and told us what to expect. I was in full panic mode. I do fell that I should mention that Michael was awesome. He just tried to keep me calm. But the part where I lost it was when we had to separate for me to be prepped and him to scrub up.
They wheeled me into the OR. Very scary. Think Alien abduction scene, bright lights, cold, scary, not the place I wanted my baby born. Luckily Jenna was still with me. I was still contracting hard on my left side but I had to get the spinal. Which is not easy when half of your body is dead and half is throbbing in pain. Sitting up straight is not easy. As soon as the spinal block went it I was completely numb. It was creepy. Unfortunately the panic was not gone. I was uncontrollably shaking and crying hysterically, I was scared. That is the only way to explain it. Complete and utter fear. They get you on the table and tie your hands down. I was warned by a friend about this but it still freaked me out. Then they put up a huge blue sheet so I cannot see anything. By this time I am pretty much having a panic attack. I told them I was going to puke. But just in the nick of time Jenna brings Michael in. He looked so handsome in his green scrubs. But one look at me and he knew I wasn't doing good. As soon as he sat down I started throwing up. Throwing up while being numb is not fun. I did not know it was possible. Luckily you can't eat during labor so it was just stomach acid. At this point the sheet starts moving and my body is moving but I feel nothing. I mean nothing.
Then I heard a cry. A Beautiful cry. I asked if she was okay and they said she had a head full of hair. They brought her around and I saw her and all my fear went away. She was beautiful. They whisked Michael away with her. So alone again. But calmer. Still shaking really bad but a little calmer. She was okay. Now to put me back together. The doctor and nurses chatted a bit with me through this time. They brought Lily back in for a quick peck on the cheek before taking her to recovery to wait for me. They told me she weighed 9 pounds 7 ounces. Wow! That is big was all I could think. The doctor said how glad I should be that I didn't push her out because she would have tore me up. I think she was right.
I went to recovery where Michael, Lily, and Gail (Michael's Mom) where and saw Lily in passing as they started my recovery prep. This is something I was sad about. I did not get to hold her for a little over an hour after she was born. I was getting irritated at this point. But when I did see her it was very emotional. A moment a mother never forgets. My heart felt like I could never love anything more. My little Lily. My little miracle.
Although the birth did not go as planned, it was worth every minute of pain. I cannot say I want to do it again anytime soon, but I can say I couldn't have asked for a happier ending. It was hard, it hurt, it was really scary, but its over now. The hard road of pregnancy ends and the rollercoaster of parenthood begins.....
Read more...
